Am I alone in this

I am afraid to fall and not have the energy to get up but I fall anyway and still i rise. I care to much what others think and I hide behind bravado and act as if I am not affected by their judgements. I fear that people will see I am not interesting enough. I want to be smarter, more intelligent, better read, better listener, more politically aware, I wish I could dance, I wish the children didn’t get ill. I wish I could save children. I painfully want friends..to do things we have in common, watch movies, share memories, talk to, argue with, support and be supported by but I don’t want friends! in case they smile in my face just to get close and betray me, play me and ultimately hurt me. I wish I could trust more but I don’t care. I wish I could go back in time do better, I am afraid of not being enough, not doing enough, doing too much and getting taken advantage of. I am afraid of losing loved ones without letting them know who much they mean to me, I am afraid of not reaching my goals, im afraid of failing my children. I am afraid of losing you after all we have been through, I am afraid of death. I am afraid of being stuck in a life without growth, I AM AFRAID OF THE easy way out because it is usually a trap lol. I am afraid of my own judgement. With all that I fear, my life is a dream, it is to be experienced, challenged and fears are to me faced. Thoughts like these are what bridges the gap that society tells us is there to separate us. We all need the same things when it comes down to it. Words connect us. Just remember to touch, listen and selflessly support those around you. One love good vybz.